When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at its intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder: he peered down the barrel and
tried the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time it
worked.

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a
finger. The chef's claim was approved.

Mourners at the funeral of Anna Bochinsky in Moinesti, Romania, were
naturally somewhat taken aback when she abruptly leapt from her coffin
as it was being carried to the grave. Before they could react to this
unexpected outburst, the woman bounded into the nearest road, where she
was run over and killed by a passing car.

An American tourist in South America had the misfortune to be attacked
by killer bees as he stood on the bank of the Amazon. Seeking refuge, he
leapt into the river-and was devoured by piranha.

In Fort Lauderdale, Florida, an eighteen year-old youth was charged with
beating up his seventeen-year-old wife after the latter hid the caps to
his toy pistol.

A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her dead.

One of the criteria by which Miss Nude USA was chosen in 1979 was taste
in clothing.

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone
in the queue a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental
hospital, telling staff that the patients were very excitable and prone
to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

Texas prisons have banned convicts on death row from having a last
cigarette, on the grounds that it is bad for their health. However, to
compensate for this, condemned men will instead be permitted to chew a
stick of celery.

An American teenager was in hospital recovering from serious head wounds
received from an oncoming train. When asked about how he received the
injuries, the lad told the police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an
examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It
only took the doctor about 2 minutes to say "Gimmee a break lady! Your
daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued
with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never
compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the
window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and
screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to
me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the
last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men
came. I was hoping they would show up again and help me figure out who
got your daughter pregnant."

Oh My God. I'm dying laughing here! This is killer stuff! I especially liked that last one

HANOI - A gourmet chef in Vietnam died after being bitten
by a venomous sea snake that he was trying to cook as the
nightly special. Le Hung Cuong, 22, picked up the half-metre
sea snake from the glass aquarium it was kept in to prepare
the restaurant's specialty, porridge with snake's blood.
The snake lashed around and bit his left hand. He died en
route to the hospital. "It was bad luck for him and for us,"
the restaurant owner said. Fortunately, the snake was
retrieved by another chef within a few minutes and served
to the waiting customer.

Thailand's Population Development Association chief
Mechai Viravaidya's methods of contraception are being questioned.
Viravaidya had recenlty made a statement urging rural
residents of the country to start placing lemon slices or
cotton soaked with lemon juice into the vagina to prevent
pregnancy. Some studies have shown that the high level of
citric acid can kill sperm. Thai Health Minister Sudarat
Keyuraphan claims the studies of this method are incomplete
and recommends using a condom.

ELK GROVE VILLAGE, Ill. - An Illinois company called Life Gem
has come up with a new way to memorialize deceased loved ones -- make them into a diamond. Apparently, cremated remains can be shipped to Germany where the carbon that is created when the body is cremated is turned into graphite and then into gems by simulating the intense pressure and temperature needed to produce diamonds. Four funeral homes in Chicago have decided to offer the service. A spokesman said that some will probably consider it a wacky idea. No way, you think?

ELK GROVE VILLAGE, Ill. - An Illinois company called Life Gem
has come up with a new way to memorialize deceased loved ones -- make them into a diamond. Apparently, cremated remains can be shipped to Germany where the carbon that is created when the body is cremated is turned into graphite and then into gems by simulating the intense pressure and temperature needed to produce diamonds. Four funeral homes in Chicago have decided to offer the service. A spokesman said that some will probably consider it a wacky idea. No way, you think?

It's True
Life Gems
Tad on the pricey side - but .....

Kilroy